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Post by Cαтту☼ on Sat Apr 05, 2014 11:10 am

24 wonderful!!! more plz 6
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Post by Mark on Sat Apr 12, 2014 2:15 am

Update:
This week I won't post a new chapter cause I need to go back through the book and edit sums unnecessary stuff.  Such as the FBI stuff, Detective DarkWing's name, and a few other indent issues and awkward phrases.  Thanks for your guys' support!
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Post by onedirectionislife on Sat Apr 12, 2014 10:38 pm

write more
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Post by April on Sat Apr 12, 2014 11:21 pm

Always here to read more!
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Post by Mark on Wed Apr 23, 2014 1:58 pm

Hey guys!  I finally went through all of my book and changed a few things!
1.) It's not Bearville, it's Bakersville.
2.) The FBI scene never happened so chapter 12 was practically redone
3.) There was a small and important thing added to chapter 14, so you'll have to read it!

I made a map of Bakersville so i'll take a picture and post it when I can upload the picture to my computer.  Now that i finished editing, I can now begin writing more chapters ;)
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Post by Cαтту☼ on Wed Apr 23, 2014 2:13 pm

^ I can't wait for the next chapter 50
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Post by Mark on Wed Apr 23, 2014 2:53 pm

Map of Bakersville (I know it isn't the best quality Razz ):

Another World - Page 4 Bakers10

I had to attempt to write in things you couldn't read haha sorry XD
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Post by Cαтту☼ on Wed Apr 23, 2014 2:58 pm

cool!! 6
good job with the map 7
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Post by *w* on Fri Apr 25, 2014 10:49 pm

I need more >:OOOOOOO

I love your writing, unlike most stories, yours isn't about romance (they're really boring to me), and it's FULL of adventure. However, I think you should fix your grammar and spelling. Other than that, it's a lovelyyyy story ^-^
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Post by Mark on Sat Apr 26, 2014 1:32 am

Another World

Chapter 17

Awakening

     Mark, like all the other days, managed his way back home.  Skia was asleep and all was silent.  Nothing strange stirred in the house and not even a sound was made.  Mark walked down the hallway slowly.  He glanced towards his bedroom; wanting to step further.  Something stopped him.  He looked down at his hands and saw them in the dull moonlight from the windows.  He turned to the stairwell that lead to the black abyss and moved his feet foreword.  He stepped into the pitch blackness of the passageway and reached the bottom.  He groped through the darkness until he reached the center of the room.  The lantern on the center table was blown out, but he easily rekindled the fire.  He searched the room to see if anyone was there, but no-one was.  He took a deep breath and removed the single glove from his hand.  He saw the mark of the black dragon there and it felt like it gave off some kind of negative energy.  He touched the mark with his other hand, but nothing happened.  
     Mark focused, closed his eyes, and remembered the things that Miss Autumn had taught the other students, while he sat in the far edge of the room.  Concentrate.  Take big breaths, and imagine the cold breeze that gently brushes against your cheeks as winter rolls its hidden beauties in from the Northern Reach.  He slowly opened his eyes to behold ice crawling up the sides of the wall.  He was stunned and overjoyed while looking around.  He had just used magic for the first time, on his own, in his life.  Mark then decided to take it to another level; to make an ice shard.  He remembered observing the more talented wizards, excusing Jacob of course, use these shards as weapons.  Mark would have used fire, but it would have burnt everything down there.  Slowly but surely, Mark kept thinking of what Miss Autumn had taught them and a perfect pointed shard of ice had formed in his hand.  He almost dropped it from how cold it was, but he kept a firm grip on it.  He thrust it at the wall, and instead of it shattering, the shard struck into the wall creating a crevice.  All at once, he tossed ice shards all around at the wall, completely pleased with himself.  Then, in the midst of it all, a shard hit the wall and sunk deep into the wall.  Something seemed and appeared different about this icicle, so he strode to the wall to observe it.  This shard was no normal shard, but it was encapsulated with a thin line of darkness.  He almost toppled over from just looking at it.  The icicle gave off a very dark negative energy.  All at once, the shadowed energy that was engrained into the ice, slowly moved into the wall itself and vanished.  Mark looked back at the mark on his hand and it also gave off a shadowy energy.
     For hours, Mark sat on the floor of the great room staring at the wall.  The fact that he created that energy by just the enjoyment of using magic frightened him.  From being frightened, he remembered the image engraved into his mind of two people fighting a great wall of shadows and him being sucked away from them.  Every time he saw this image, it felt like part of him was being torn from his heart.  After hiding his feeling for ten long years, he couldn't hold it in anymore.  For the first time, he began to softly cry.  He wanted a family that loved him, not powers that could keep him safe.  He wanted a loving and playful father and a kind and caring mother.  He mist them, and he loved them deeply.  As this thought of those he loved remained in his feelings, something incredible happened. The mark on his hand started to fade from pitch black, to grey.  From the grey dull color, it glowed into a shimmering pure white glow.  He looked up from his weeping and noticed his mark.  If it meant more power, he didn't want it.  He feared more power.  At the moment, he didn't care.  He continued to think of his parents and his mark on his hand just grew more beautiful and white.  He couldn't ignore it anymore.  He pulled himself together, tried to use magic once again, and the most beautiful of colors began to portray themselves through the air.  All that was left inside his magic was no longer fear, shadows, and darkness; but a feeling that is unsurpassed by any other true emotion.  A deep sacrificial love for others.

Quick note!  This isn't a romantic love XD   This just portrays part of his character.  Just someone who begins to become less concerned about himself and cares for others.  By the way, if or when I decide to bring the main character's significant other into the story, it won't be awkward and boring.  I got my own twists to take care of those things.  Now that this has been said, there is no need to complain about the story being too romantic lol XD
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Post by jayberry♡ on Sat Apr 26, 2014 1:41 am

Great story. I enjoy the action, but I'd recommend fixing little mistakes such as grammar and spelling etc, just like Luci said. c:
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Post by *w* on Sat Apr 26, 2014 3:54 pm

more please :3

Yes I love good grammar and spelling xD
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Post by Mark on Sun Apr 27, 2014 2:19 am

Thank you guys c:  I keep going through the chapters for issues.  If you guys see grammatical issues, you can just copy and past the section and show me what the issue is through PM if you wanted.  I hope you enjoy the story : D
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Post by Cαтту☼ on Sun Apr 27, 2014 2:44 am

Omg 50
Awesome and awesome! Keep up dat good writing 25
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Post by Briannadog on Sun Apr 27, 2014 9:50 am

Cool story!
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Post by Mark on Thu May 01, 2014 12:15 am

I'll do my best to write the next chapter this weekend.  If not, then i'll do it next weekend.  Sorry DX
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Post by Mark on Wed May 14, 2014 11:56 pm

Hey! wassup peeps!  I know it's been like 2 weeks already and I may not be able to write this weekend or next?!  What's up with that?!  Well..... I just got one word for you, Finals....   I have two 5 hour tests and 2 papers to turn in.  The papers must be 1,000 words long and the tests are insane! I apologize for the inconvenience of writing and I already have the next 2 chapters thought out.  That never happens...... and thinking out the third chapter after those two is in the process ;)   Also, we are getting two baby puppies that are really just adorable and are crazy XD  So my hands are gonna be full with that, finals, and preparing to make a youtube series of this book and a future book.  
            Preview for another book:  (If you want me to write this other book, please comment and ask if you want to see it.  It's about a 12-13 year old boy that doesn't care for anyone but himself and that all changes when he gets literally sucked into his favorite online video game.  The story is about his journey of getting out of the game and learning to care for others.  This series will last about 2-3 books.  The series i'm doing now will last 3-5ish books.)


Last edited by Mark on Wed May 21, 2014 1:31 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Cαтту☼ on Thu May 15, 2014 12:51 am

Omg your getting 2 puppies? 25 Aww that's so cool! I would like to read the other book, it sounds interesting lol 7
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Post by Mark on Thu May 15, 2014 6:43 pm

Thanks Catsup!  Also, we don't know if we'll get the second puppy yet so yeah.  We just got the puppy today and it's pretty rambunctious and sweet.  If about 3 or more people want to read this other book i'm making, i'll be sure to make the other story ;)
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Post by Mark on Sat May 17, 2014 9:21 pm

Another World

Chapter 18

The Robed Figure

     The dagger was right above the restful figure.  The robed figure stood there with the blade against his neck.  Come on, the figure thought to itself.  I must do it.  I was commanded by the Shadow Wizard.  This path is the only one I have known for my entire life.  I can not give up now.  The figure looked around the room and noticed a photo on the wall.  The figure saw Mark and someone the figure didn't recognize.  It appeared to be Mark in his youthful days along with a young girl and the girl's family.  On the photo was the writing, "The only family I know."  The figure stepped back from the bed and starred at Mark.  What have I become.....  I promised myself after I accidentally killed that little girl that I would stop this.  The figure looked down at it's hands and almost dropped the dagger.  The figure placed the dagger back into its sheath and raced out of the house.  The figure ran deep into the Forest Bend and came by the waterfalls.  The pool of cooling water beckoned for the figure to draw near and drink of its reviving waters.  The figure sat by the pool and looked at its reflection.  Almost instantly, it heard some what of a faint screaming drawing nearer to itself.  The figure stood up to behold a light darting right for itself.  The light ran straight into the figure and began,
"Who are you?!  Why are you trying to kill Mark!?  You lay another hand on him and i'll.....i'll...."
The light stuttered and sighed.
"I can't stop you...but i'll die trying.  Mark is all I have even though he doesn't know me yet.  Don't you dare...."
"Don't worry child," The figure began.  "I won't lay a single finger of harm upon the boy."
The voice from the figure was peaceful and calm.  The figure sat down and began to weep.  The light, perplexed at this thought, came by the figure and something magical occurred.  A well sized dragon appeared by the robed figure.  The dragon was sleek, some what small, and had a noble look in his eyes.  The light that had once been flying about, had transformed into the dragon.
"I'm sorry," the dragon started.  "I shouldn't rush to things like that.  I may not know you, but I know you're haunted by your past.  I know the things you did against my kind.  Some of these things are unforgivable by other dragons like me."  
The dragon looked the figure in the eye.  The figure took of its hood to reveal long hair falling from the robe.  It was only a girl.  Her eyes were damp with the grief of past mistakes and dark hours that she had fallen into.
"I want to change....what i'm doing is wrong."  She looked up at the dragon. 
"I'm so....so sorry.  The moment I looked at that boy, it reminded of me how my life use to be.  I had a home with a loving father.  I had a caring mother.  I stepped away from the light and embraced darkness.  How can I possibly come back?"
The dragon looked at her and replied,
"Although you have done much harm and evil, you can still redeem yourself."
"No, I can't.  I killed so many people."
The dragon's tone changed to a fiercer tone as he retorted,
"Then maybe what you should do is seek forgiveness.  Because of the choices you made, you should not rest until you have received the forgiveness of every wronged person.  You chose this path and you're going to fix it."
With this harsh rebuke, the dragon flew away and disappeared into the night.  The figure looked back into the pool at beheld her own reflection.  She took off the gloves that concealed her hands to reveal a great dragon mark wrapped around her arm.  She looked at her mark as it lit up for only a moment.  Her eyes did the same as she store into the darkness of night.
"I vow to change these dark ways.  The ways that nearly killed my love ones and has taken over everything I love.  I may not know who this boy is, but he has something I want."
She lost her thoughts in the swirling pool and whispered,
"....a home"


     Mark found himself continually looking at the bookshelf where Miss Autumn had replaced the books.  He couldn't just walk back home with the chance that his family name might be in there.  The room held an empty air and nothing stirred the room.  He took down the book hurriedly and cracked it open.  The chapter on the Darkwings interested him the most.  He had to be quick to find just one grain of a hint to coming closer to who that family was.  The name had rung in his ears for all his life.  He never remembered who or what it meant, but now was the time to find out.  He realized that the name was connected to a simple fairy tale, only 68 years old, about the kingdom in the air and also the history articles of Arkitan.  None of those meant anything, but he wrote it down on a piece of paper and placed it in his pocket.
"Whatcha doing?"
Mark was startled as he turned around and saw one of the students.
"Oh!  Hi Chloe.  I was just reading this book about some lineage."
Chloe looked over at the book.
"I don't think we are allowed to read that.  Did Miss Autumn give you permission?"
Mark was a horrible liar, so all he could do was tell the truth.
"Miss Autumn took it down to read off a few names and put it back.  She told me that these things are suppose to be hidden, but one of the names I saw was one I heard when I first came into this world."
Chloe perked up and raced to his side.
"Well, even though this is against the rules, i'll only help for a little.  I don't want to get caught."
Mark grinned a little and replied,
"I actually have a little information that can help, but thanks any way."
"Aww that's no fun.  If there is any way I can help, let me know!"
She waved as she left the room.  She left an ice print with every step of the way, because her magic was specifically ice and she hadn't learned to control it yet.  He strode to the door and this time, he heard the wind whisper a name.  It was a name he had heard before.  Noran DarkWing.  What did it mean?  He left the room without another word.  Mist filled the room and a figure appeared.  As the shadow stepped closer to the bookshelf, dark energy repleted the room.  He picked up the book of genealogies and almost opened it until Miss Autumn entered the room.  Her face grew pale with horror as she saw the shadow hold the book.
"Get your filthy shadowed hands off of that book you black hearted obscurity!"
She shot a bright white light right into the shadow and the shadow faded into the mist releasing a terrible high pitched scream.  Miss Autumn raced to the book and picked it up.  
"I should have known the shadows would break into here."  
She glanced nervously around the room.
"I need to hide these books before it's too late....."
"Too late for what?"
Miss Autumn jumped and saw one of her students.  She smiled to herself and began,
"I had a run in with some trouble and I need to move these books somewhere else."
"I'll gladly help."
"No, it's alright.  I can manage."
The student smiled and left the room.  Much stirred in Miss Autumn's mind, and then she remembered a sharp pain on the back of her head and everything went black.
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Post by onedirectionislife on Sun May 18, 2014 12:30 pm

cool story, I loooovvvvvveeeeeeee it  10
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Post by Cαтту☼ on Sun May 18, 2014 1:50 pm

love it! 50 keep up that writing 6
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Post by Mark on Wed May 28, 2014 11:38 pm

Update~  

I was actually preparing to film an update video for my youtube account then I noticed I had to update my iPhoto so yeah..... I ended up deleting all of my past videos and pictures so...... I was like 
" WHAT IN THE WORLD HAVE I DONE?!?!?!" 59 


anyway..... :( ........ I made my first script for video making!  I combined the first two chapters so it would last 15-25 minutes or something.....maybe 10.......or 5......so yeah!  That's what I did today and I hope to actually film an update video for you youtube account!  I'm really excited for this youtube series so much!  I won't start with this story.  Instead i'll write mini stories.  My first mini story on my account, which is TheMetalLegGamer, it was called Inception.  It's nothing like the movie trust me haha.  The next one is another original called The Orphanage.  (This video was some what deleted due to the removing of all past videos. Thanks iPhoto and apple -_-)


I'm still thinking of where I want the story to go and i'm almost done with it!  Thanks for holding in there guys  2  (Not like you actually had an option though....) XD
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Post by Cαтту☼ on Thu May 29, 2014 12:09 am

Omg I'm so sorry all your videos got deleted  4 
I subbed you on YouTube lol 7
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Post by Mark on Mon Jun 09, 2014 12:12 am

Another World

Chapter 19

The Last Lights of Summer

Mark ran like a mad man out from Miss Autumn's house.  He ran as if something was chasing him.  He never ran so fast in his life.  The sun started to set lower in the sky as he charged up the hill towards the abandoned house.  He wheezed as he reached the top of the mountain.  Soon, his knees gave way as he fell over onto the grassy terrain.  He watched the sun set and the fireflies pop out.  That was the last autumn day that felt like summer to him.  Even though summer was long gone, this day was truly the last day of summer to Mark.  The last rays of dusk brushed against his cheeks as it set behind the far off mountains.  The rays rejuvenated his magic in a way he could never really express.  Butterflies formed in his stomach as the energy surged through his body.  He closed his eyes while feeling this and the mark on his hand began to glow.  After a while, he opened his eyes to behold hundreds of fireflies dancing in the air along with the newly welcome northern lights.  He grinned as he watched them both twirl through the air in such marvelous grace that could never possibly be written in any form to obtain the full expression of awe.  He watched the stars twinkle along with the lights in rhythmic grace.  The light on his mark traveled up his arm and his entire mark on his arm lit up.  The light from his mark was now bright enough for him to notice it, but he payed no mind to it.  He found himself starting to doze and fell into a pleasant sleep.

The robed figure ran through the woods and the light of day struck her eyes.  She winced from the light as she ran out.  She scanned the forest floor for any oncoming people and finally rested.  The robed figure ran all night to come back to Bakersville, but it seemed farther away than what it normally was.  A blackberry thistlebush was just around the tree and it produced a sweet aroma.  She walked over to the bush and picked of a few berries.  She was too famished to care about anything else at that one moment.  Her white silverish hair fell from her hood as she began to eat her breakfast.  As she finished her breakfast, she began to become very light headed and held on to the tree for support.  The world started to spin in circles as she collapsed on the forest floor.  A figure draped in darkness approached the girl and stood before her.
"Oh look, the princess of the moon and the murderer arrives at the edge of my wood.  So this is the great Eclipso that serves the Shadow Wizard.  Hmm..."
Another person slowly paced towards the first figure and stated,
"I believe she is known as Summer to most people."
"Of course, I just prefer to use her formal name."
The figure smiled.
"Come.  Bring the girl.  We have a trap to set for the next phase in our plan."
One of the figures picked her up and they made their way into the thick of the Twisted Woods.

Miss Autumn slowly opened her eyes to a dark room.  She looked around and it was a nothingness.  She struggled to stand up, but she was chained tight to the floor.  A shadow walked up to her and began,
"Do you know where the boy is?"
Miss Autumn looked up with an enraged look on her face and replied,
"Go and tell your master i'm a dead end you wicked abomination."
The shadow only smiled and replied,
"That's not good enough for me.  I want an answer of yes or no.  From there, we can discuss your fate.  So...."
The shadow walked across the room to a table and picked up a knife.
"Now, let's try this again..... I saw you speaking with the boy and I can only assume he is beginning to become curious of who he really is.  So, where is he now?"
"I don't know what you mean!" Miss Autumn sputtered.  "What boy?  I teach many boys in my class and they are all normal boys.  There isn't anything special about any of them!"
The shadow began to laugh and glared at her.
"I am loosing my patience woman.  Tell me where......"
The shadow stopped himself and looked back at the woman.  She remained on the floor with a terrified look on her face and trembled violently.  The shadow walked over to her and grinned wickedly while another shadow followed.  The shadow that followed slowly transformed into another form.  Miss Autumn eyes widened as she witnessed the shadow transform into a perfect image of herself.
"Don't worry Miss Autumn, we have watched how you act in class because I was one of your students.  I use to look like...."
He transformed into another form.
"Jacob?!"
The shadow grinned in joy and turned back into Miss Autumn's form.
"Now, we can take your place and no one will ever know that we now have made our next move on the world."


Last edited by Mark on Mon Jun 09, 2014 12:34 am; edited 1 time in total
Mark
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