Bearville City
Equestria Spies! (working title) Easterwavinggif4
Log in

I forgot my password

Latest topics
» Hey it's frickin 2019
Equestria Spies! (working title) EmptyMon Jul 15, 2019 4:09 pm by Mixi

» BC's Official Counting Post! *win tickets*
Equestria Spies! (working title) EmptyThu Feb 28, 2019 12:13 pm by Savanah

» Post before Abby posts (:
Equestria Spies! (working title) EmptyThu Jul 16, 2015 7:15 pm by Hazza

» rate the siggie above you!
Equestria Spies! (working title) EmptySun Mar 15, 2015 7:44 pm by Hazza

» Bikes vs. Skateboards
Equestria Spies! (working title) EmptyThu Sep 25, 2014 12:36 am by Hazza

» MollyFlyer's wishlist
Equestria Spies! (working title) EmptyThu Jun 26, 2014 3:19 pm by MollyFlyer

» BC Outfit Contest ~GREAT PRIZES ~4 days~
Equestria Spies! (working title) EmptyThu Jun 26, 2014 3:03 pm by cupcakestar12

» Trading light blue and yellow bbl shirts (: <3
Equestria Spies! (working title) EmptyThu Jun 26, 2014 2:01 pm by TheQueen

» Olive's New Wishlist! ~ June 23
Equestria Spies! (working title) EmptyThu Jun 26, 2014 1:32 pm by MollyFlyer

Who is online?
In total there are 2 users online :: 0 Registered, 0 Hidden and 2 Guests

None

Most users ever online was 201 on Tue Dec 10, 2013 6:59 pm
Bearville
Equestria Spies! (working title) Bab_im10
BC Gazette
Equestria Spies! (working title) 73
Top posting users this week

Top posting users this month

Timezones
Pacific Time Eastern Standard Time Mountain Time Central Time Zone South Africa United Kingdom Atlantic Time
Equestria Spies! (working title) Flags_1
Copyscape
Protected by Copyscape Duplicate Content Protection Tool

Equestria Spies! (working title)

Go down

Should I...

Equestria Spies! (working title) OXtbd50%Equestria Spies! (working title) Vote_rcap 50% 
[ 1 ]
Equestria Spies! (working title) OXtbd50%Equestria Spies! (working title) Vote_rcap 50% 
[ 1 ]
Equestria Spies! (working title) OXtbd0%Equestria Spies! (working title) Vote_rcap 0% 
[ 0 ]
Equestria Spies! (working title) OXtbd0%Equestria Spies! (working title) Vote_rcap 0% 
[ 0 ]
 
Total Votes : 2

Equestria Spies! (working title) Empty Equestria Spies! (working title)

Post by #JellyBean on Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:25 pm

Please Read:
The following story is based on a story series which spans approximately 15 short stories in total... To sum up the prelude to said story would be impossible... If you would like to read the previous stories, I may be able to help :)if you don't have time and enough of you demand it, I will attempt to sum up the story... vote please Smile

Chapter 1
It was a stormy day in Bearville. Jessie skipped down the hall of the BVSS HQ which was headed towards the lab. Pushing the button which activated the sliding doors and stepping inside, she was greeted with the aroma one smells when passing a dental practice.

"Hey Jess!" Called out one of the scientists. Her dyed blue hair was pulled back in a half-and-half style and a pair of silver spectacles balanced on the tip of her nose. It was Cade, the head scientist and a close friend to Jessie. Jessie walked over and sat on a chair which was pulled up to a work bench, on which a maze of glass tubing and flasks wormed it's way through the air. It all looked incredibly complicated and scientific, and Cade most probably knew what she was doing, however it has to be said that not all her experiments were quite so perfect. Jessie's mind was cast back to the last time one of Cade's experiments got out of hand. A shiver ran down her spine at the thought of it all. That was an adventure she was never going to forget.

"What you doing?" Jessie asked out of curiosity, not expecting to fully understand what it was Cade was up to.

"Just working on a molecular modification formula..." Cade said casually, as if she had said she was baking simple cupcakes.

"I'm with you so far... What does it do?" Jessie asked, turning a flask of a deep purple liquid around in her hand and giving it a small shake.

"At the moment, I'm not really sure. I'm designing it to work on humans... as a sort of... under cover enhancement. I've done a few tests but I'll never really know what it does until I can test it out on a guinea pig." Cade explained, removing her spectacles and taking the flask from Jessie.

"A guinea pig... Like... squeak squeak? Or are you really gonna try this little potion out on an actual person?!" Jessie asked, slowly sliding off the chair and glancing around for an easy exit route. She started to back away slowly, her pace quickening the further from Cade she got. She was almost out of the door when she bumped straight into someone.

"Jess! There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere!" Came a familiar voice. Jessie winced. Chief put an arm around her shoulders and led her back towards Cade.

"Cade called me down here to try something out, I figured you could try it too!" He said. Jessie rolled her eyes. Cade poured out two small glasses of the formula and handed one to each of the test subjects.

"Hold on a minute!" Chief said, picking up another glass and placing it in front of Cade. He motioned for her to fill it.

"I can't try it!" She protested.

"Why not?" Chief and Jessie said in unison.

"Because..." Cade answered.

"Not good enough! I order you to test this with us! If you're confident it's safe enough to test on humans then you should be fine testing it yourself!" Chief said, taking the potion and filling the glass himself.

"But... But..." Cade stuttered.

"It is safe... Isn't it?" Jessie asked.

"Yes it is... I hope..." Cade said under her breath. She picked up the glass and held it to her lips

"On three..." Chief started. "One... Two... Three..."

The potion was sweet and tangy, almost citrus in flavor, with a hint of bitterness as an aftertaste. The three of them stood there for a moment, looking at one another waiting for something to happen.

"Well... Back to the drawing--" Cade began, but was interrupted by a bright flash of light which burst from her own body. Before she could comprehend the situation, she blacked out.
#JellyBean
#JellyBean
Royal Bear
Royal Bear

Warning : Equestria Spies! (working title) LQ2kVXL
Posts : 109
Tickets : 385
Join date : 2013-09-19

Back to top Go down

Equestria Spies! (working title) Empty Re: Equestria Spies! (working title)

Post by Mark on Sun Oct 13, 2013 10:25 pm

Wowi!!!!!!  Nice start to a epic story!  Can't wait for the next part ;)



Btw, if the back story has really important stuff, tie it into the story in later on chapters.  That always gets people on the edge ;)
Mark
Mark
Grand Bear
Grand Bear

Warning : Equestria Spies! (working title) LQ2kVXL
Posts : 1103
Tickets : 475
Join date : 2013-10-03

Back to top Go down

Equestria Spies! (working title) Empty Re: Equestria Spies! (working title)

Post by amyboo on Sun Oct 13, 2013 11:02 pm

Great start!!
If there is any more background info you should let the readers know about it first, but you can also add some of the background stuff into the story later on so it's more interesting c; (basically agreeing with Mark xD)
amyboo
amyboo
Reporter
Reporter

Warning : Equestria Spies! (working title) LQ2kVXL
Posts : 1645
Tickets : 3236
Join date : 2013-09-17

Back to top Go down

Equestria Spies! (working title) Empty Re: Equestria Spies! (working title)

Post by Amber on Tue Oct 29, 2013 2:37 pm

Agreed with Amy and Mark : D
btw, this is so amazing!! more please ((:

Amber
Manager Bear
Manager Bear

Warning : Equestria Spies! (working title) FfpdVzJ
Posts : 6134
Tickets : 4683
Join date : 2013-09-15

Back to top Go down

Equestria Spies! (working title) Empty Re: Equestria Spies! (working title)

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum